Marital mediation is a process intended to help couples preserve their marriage using a trained and experienced family mediator. Using these interest based skills, the mediator helps couples learn to communicate better and negotiate mutually acceptable new terms for their marriage.
This is not therapy or counseling. There is no diagnosis, assessment or treatment. Through this approach, couples may enter into a written marital contract dealing with issues that typically cause conflict or argument.
Relationships are often faced with disagreements: use of joint funds; creation of debt; parenting responsibilities; ownership of assets; affairs; career plans and expectations; personal health and hygiene; living arrangements; religious practices and conflicts; relationships with family and friends and even division of household labor and tasks. These disagreements can cause silent tensions or overt argument that lead to feelings of unhappiness or marriage dissatisfaction. When those feelings persist, it often results in break-up or divorce.
Marital mediation is similar to divorce mediation in many respects but is different in the sense that the goals and energy of the couple is different. Working together, we find ways to strengthen the relationship by new behaviors and better communication. Marriages will nearly always have some conflict. The secret is to learn how to “conflict well” and not destructively.
This form of mediation is client centered and driven. It empowers the couples by respecting their ability to recognize their own issues and then craft their own solutions using the neutral, 3rd person facilitator. If you choose, the mediator will help you create a “Marriage Agreement”. It would not be a document filed with the court. It would be your own private agreement detailing your hopes and expectations.
The goal is to strengthen the marriage. On the other hand, if the couple concludes that issues may be beyond repair, the mediator can explain various separation and/or divorce options so as to minimize the acrimony and work towards a cooperative separation or divorce.
Click on this link for the standard Marital Mediation Agreement. The number and length of the sessions is up to you.